apsal ha????

y am i so misarable wenever im thinking bout u????
y cant i take those feeling away from me???
how can i forget bout u??
y???
y???
y do i keep on crying over u???
yy???
plizz make all of dis stop...
we broke up upon wat??
a lousy promise???
it was me who was suppose so say all those sweet thing to u...
it was me who really wanted 2 see u...
it was me who can only luv u...
it was suppose to be in ur life!!!!
i hate everything now...
im trying to hate u but i cant...
the more i try the ore i misses u...
y cant we be juz like old time??
y can i be apart of ur life anymore??
am i dat bad?
am i dat disgusting??
am i dat selfish??
can i be selfish to find my own happyness??
or werent u happy being with me??
werent u happy hanging out with??
werent u happy talking to me??
werent u happy being by my side??
wat can possibly be wrong wth us??
we fight?
we hate each other sometimes?
but didnt in the end were always back on our foot again???
im misarable now...
i dont blame u...
i blame myself coz i let u out of my hand...
each and everyday i will hate myself...
each and everyday i will scold myself....

Kill me

Kill me plizz.............
juz do it...
dont ask 4 a stupid Q...
living a life means making mistake 4 da rest of it...
so avoiding it best by not living....

THE END!!

so its finally over...
i wasted my 2 year devoting myself to sum1 for nothing...
but now i can really start a new chapter in my book....its over....
permenently...
i juz have to think of a way to make my brain stop thinking bout her...
better find sum1 fast...
but i dont really have a candidate...
huhu...

i made up my mind...

i think i can finaly get over 'her'.....
after a while, i sill can't forget her but i manage not to think about it too much....
n i manage not to get in touch wit her....
its not my decission in the first place...
how can asking to show that i cared be consider as being a busybody???
or does she has something else she's hiding....
i cant bare to think bad bout her..i know her for so long n i know she's not that type...(i think i know)..
erm.....this blabering has nothing to do with me n every1 else in the world....

im dead broke!

let see now..
i started this month with rm 400....
i use rm 112 to pay my phone bill...den da rest for everything else....
by 9/9 i got anoyher rm90...n now im totally broke!!!
i dont know where have all my money gone to....
i was suppose to use every thing until da end of this month but know i screwd it!!!

arghh....i'm in 2nd year n i dont know how to keep budgeting my money!!!!
help me!!

again after 10minutes break....

what does this old guy wants???
didnt he sees that every1 is sleepy hearing his blablabla....
is he mumbling in india??
coz i dont understands anything he's trying to tell us.....btw a lil info bout my class....
consist of 18 people....13 gals, 4 dudes n 1 hairy monster....i hate him so thats what he is...
we're majoring in animal sciences....not vet!
its a small class but i dont think that im tight with them...im not always in class tough...
im now sitting beside kath...shes sabahan...
hehe...see ya later!

at class...

im doing this at class...
i guess i got bored or something...
hearing my lecture wasnt that exciting at all...hes a foreigner....so the 'slang' are quite unic...
y am i doing this???
there's nobody around to read this anyway...
herm...i wonder hows those famous blog got so famous???
how do they get their fans from?




have u ever wander what u learn while u were young have anything to do with ur job in the future..
if there, lucky u....if not, whats the point????...
n yet my mom keep on forcing me to learn while i have no idea what i'm learning.....
keep in touch y'll...

in da morning....

today i woke up with 2 nighhtmare....
and it wasnt pleasent....
the 1st nightmare was my own dream....its juz another dream where i got beaten nearly to death....been drug and woke up at a place far away from home....kindda hoping it was real coz that would be interesting...

and and when i really woke up, i got a sms from my classmate telling me i missed this morning class n miss a quiz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warghh!!!!
thats a nightmare....i cannot afford to lose an more marks from that class!!
damn it...
i look at the time and its already 11 a.m.................
shit!

nite time...

wow....
now i know how lonely and pathetic i am....
i keep on looking an my fon hoping somebody would text me...n today, no one did...
its sad..
even 4 me..
i mean everyday i got some1 to text me...
some1 i can call n have a chat with...
now i have no one...
wow...
really..
what should i do??
huhuhu...

Back from lab...

Im starving!!!
huhu....my lab was boring....nothing to do in there..
i just sit around n let mt classmate do all the work...
not that i dont want to...i tried to join in but they were acting like im not even existed there...
huhu...
and one of my classmate give me a 'look' like ive been making mistake to her all week...
i barely talk to her..
not since i resign from her team..but i dont think that was the problem...
she's maybe angry at me...just maybe...
or she's annoyed by me....just like everybody else...
herm...
life's like that i guess...

Waking Up...

hows da hell im gona wake up early if i've ben sleeping at 5-6 in da morning???
i mean staying up 4 a bit is ok dude but i've been doing this 4 da past weeks n im starting to dicth clases again like in 1st sem...
if im keeping this up my grade are gonna fall right back..juzt like b4..
herm...
im really sleepy right now...
i know nobody give a damn bout what i write here so its going to be the best place 4 me to show myself..
hehe...
the real reason is im heartbroken....again..by the same person...even though we've broke up half a year ago...
at 1st i tought that shes juz wanted some space or wanna to teach me a lesson or something...
but i guess i finally understand that she DONT WANT ME ANYMORE!!!!
huhu...lifes cruel....
the other day i dont know what i di to piss her off..
and she block me from her fs....
hey i still have feeling for her so when i looked at other guys in contact with her i got jealous...
n she think im a busybody...
huhu.....she hates me now...tottally....

The Creation!

yo every1...im new in this...so i dont know much bout what to write in this...

im starting this bcoz i feel bored being me..simply nothing to do in my life anymore...

hey im not talking bout ending it 4 real..juz i wanna start sumthing exciting 4 a change...

really dont know what to do...so NEED SUPPORT!!!

huhu....

n juz recently my life gone from bad to worst...

n for 15 minutes i can only tlak about this much...man am i pathetic...

really need to change my life...

i've been making more n more people hate me...

dont know how to make people happy....

well im not happy so y should i make other people happy...

but im not intending to make other misarable...

i dont know what i wat...

being happy with someone???

or being misarable alone??

hehe..

maybe im juz better off alone...

herm....